Is art just a figment of my mind or just the final confluence of me? I have to admit asking this question creates the every day dilemma of what has art done for me lately, or is this something I can live without. To what extent have I or will I go to live with or without art and is art my calling, my gift? Is this just a figment of my imagination or something I always dreamed would be? The value of which is yet to come? What is my approach to a question about how willing I am to have art in my life, how willing am I to share both my time and resources with a need that cost me both time and money and perhaps no return on my investment. What is required of me to execute this passion or desire? Where do I draw the line in the sand and say “hey” you are just a hobby and I only need you when I’m bored?
Maybe the confluence of me is the direction I am headed. Perhaps, everything I have tried in the past to ditch what I thought I could hide as a passion is just more obvious than I ever cared to admit. Perhaps, I am just kidding myself when I attempt to hide my gift and pretend that other jobs are better suited for my abilities and my contributions to society, my passion to make a difference in this world. Maybe it is my own confluence that shows me truly what this means to me. To the degree of the extreme measures I have needed art to survive, and to the degree that I would provide for others and own up to my responsibilities in life just so one day I might be able to afford to attend to my own need to express my talent. To be responsible for the God given talent I have and not be deterred and have hope and be willing to sacrifice and have had nothing but to have a moments of creative repose so that my mind has had opportunities to appreciate the value of my gift that cost me nothing but time. I’m so grateful for what God provided me that I feel the need to unbury my treasure as it is far better that I invest the talent I have than bury it — hoping that I please God by keeping my gift well activated and not hidden. Sure, it would be easier to have no controversy, no risk and no life to speak of but that is not the confluence of me.